Maa

                            

This is for my first love, my granny... who is the biggest reason behind what I am and how I am... More for my granny here at Granny's day out

Maa kab itnee boodhi ho gayee pataa hee nahee chalaa...

pataa hi nahi chala ki kab chahare ki khaal ne jhurriyon kaa daaman thaam liyaa aur maa ke chahare par kaee nadiyon ki dhaaraao ki tarahaa phail gayien...

Maa ne kai baar mujhe kahaa vaapas ghar aane ke liye... Delhi me rahane ke liye...

mujhe kabhi pataa hi nahi chalaa ki wo mujhe hameshaa apane paas rakhanaa chahatee thi...

hameshaa chahti thi ki jab bhi unhe apne daato kaa kaam karaanaa ho, to mai unake saath rahoo...

jab bhi unhe koi jodo ke dard ki takleef ho, to mai unake x-ray karaaun...

aaj bhi maa ki photo dekhataa hoon to unkee aankho me wahi sawaal... "Daato ke daakktar ke chale...?"

unaki lagabhag sabhi tasveero me unake nakli daant zarur dikhate hain... jaise unhe dikhaa ke vo mujhe hasaane ki koshish kar rahi ho...

hansi aa bhi jaati hai bahut baar... topic hi hot thaa, unke daant...

Maa ne kabhi bhi hame pareshaan hone kaa mauka nahi diyaa...

ham maukaa dhoondhate bhi the to vo us mauke ko dandaa maar ke bhagaa deti thi...

bahut koshish karte the ham kabhi-kabhi apani maa ko haai profile Maa banaane ka...

jaise aaj-kal seerials me haai profile maayien hoti hain, dependent types...

jin kaa bahut dhyaan rakhaa jaataa hai, jinke bolne se pehle hi unhe har cheez laake de di jaati hai,

jin ke liye ghar ke andar hi sabhi sukh-suvidhaao kaa implementation kiyaa jaataa hai...

par vo meri Maa thi, kathor, independent...

Ek dam apane balboote par jine wali... binaa kisi dipendencies ke... binaa kisi ki help ke...

jab tak jaan gale me naa atak jaaye, tab tak sab khud karanaa, binaa kisi ki madad liye hue...

jo aurat heart-attack ke tisare din hi fir se kaam karane lage, use aap kahaa tak sahara dene ki baat sochoge...

ek cheez jo mujhe bahut achchhe se yaad hai aur shaayad zehen mein itni basi hui hai ki nikalna bhi chaahoo to nahi nikalegi...

aur vo hai mere bachpan me maa ko kaam karate hue dekhane ki dhundhali tasveerein...

maa jab bhais kaa dudh nikalati thi to mujhe aawaaz lagaa leti thi...

aur fir baalti se pehle doodh ki dhaar seedhaa mere muh me...

itanaa taazaa dudh ki aaj 25 saal baad bhee usakaa swaad mere muh me basaa huaa hai...

fir vo maa kaa raai se doodh bilonaa...
vo haree ki aanch me doodh garam karna...

vo sookhi lakadiyo ke chhote chhote dher ikatthaa karate rehna chulhe ki aanch ke liye...

vo Chakki pees kar aataa nikaalanaa...

Maa ke transformation ki bhi gawahi de sakti hain meri yadein...

Jaise vo haath ki chakki electric chakki mein badal jana aur Maa ka fir vo chalana sikhna...

Maa ne proper knowledge transfer (KT) liyaa tha electric chakki kaa...

Fir vo manual haath wali raai se electric raai par aana...

Fir vo Maa ka Paidal chalne se lekar meri car mein baithne tak kaa safar...

Kai baar bohot si baton ka bohot baad mein ehsaas hota hai...

Jaise aaj mujhe lagta hai ki main Maa ko apni car mein baitha ke kahin bhi le jaa sakta tha...

Kitne bhi lambe trip pe...

Aur aisa isiliye nhi ki mere bachpaan mein Maa mujhe apne kandhe par baitha kar 10-12 kilometer doctor ke dikhane le jati thi...

Balki isiliye ki ab jab sochta hoon un dino ko jab Maa meri car mein baithi thi aur main chalata tha, tab ek sukhad ehsaas se maan bhar jata hai...

Maa ki ek aadat mujhe jo sabse pasand thi...

Vo kabhi bhi aage nahi baithi thi car mein... Hamesha piche...

Aur mujhe bhi tabhi unka driver banke car chalane mein bada maza aata tha...

Ab koi ehsaas hi nahi hota, koi car mein aage baithe yaa piche...

Mere bohot se dost jante the Maa ko...

Bohot baar rukte the mere ghar...

shayad har baar jab bhi hum kisi trip se wapas aate the, to sabhi mere ghar hi rukte the aur fir wahin se office nikal jate the...

Aur jab bhi aisa hota tha, mujhe bohot daant padti thi...

Isiliye nahi ki doston ko ghar kyun leke aaya, balki isiliye ki subha-subha unhe bina khilaye pilaye hi bhaga le gaya office...

Maa ko sabse bura lagta tha jab koi ghar se bina chai piye yaa khana khaye chala jata tha...

Mujhe hamesha daant padti thi isi baat par ki office thoda late bhi ja sakte the, par sabko nashta to kara deta..

Par ek vidambana ho gayi...

Jo bhi mere dost sabse zyada mere yahan rukte the, maine Maa ke bare mein sabko bataya... unke jaane ki khabar...

Sahanubhuti paane ke liye nahi, balke isiliye ki mujhe laga ki jo log Maa se mile yaa unhe jante the, unhe maloom hona shayad zaruri hai...

Par ab 2012 aa chuka tha, log 2008 aur 2009 se zyada busy ho chuke the...

Kisi ka phone bhi nahi aaya ye janne ke liye ki kya hua aur kaise hua...

Milne ki umeed zyada karni bhi nhi chahiye aajkaal, samay badal raha hai, log zyada bhagdad mein hain, competition badh gaya hai, paisa and post zyada chahiye...

Shayad aajkal "milne" ka matlab bhi badal gaya hai... "Milne" ka matlab ab sirf aise Dhaabe reh gaye hain, jinke side mein sharab ki dukaan ho...

Ab usi cheez ko milna kehte hain doston ka...

Aur ye upar ki panktiyaan bhi meri kisi dil ke kone mein dabi hui vo bemani icchayein ho sakti hain, jo kabhi-kabhi khali dimaag mein shaitaan ki tarha ghar kar jati hain... log to sabhi acche hote hain, koi bura nahi hota... bure humare vichaar hote hain jinke kaaran hum logon ko bhi bura bana dete hain...

In sab cheezon ke bavajood, sab acchaiyon aur buraiyon ke chalte, bas Maa nahi hai beech mein...

Aaj bhi ghar mein humne unka chulha sambhal ke rakha hai...

Bohot baajre ki roti khilayi Maa ne uss pe bana ke...

Jis din Maa gayi, us din bhi lunch mein maine unke haath ki bani hui baajre ki roti khayi thee...

Agar thoda sa bhi ehsaas hota unke jane ka, to 1 roti bacha ke rakh leta main shayad... unki yaad main...

Itni acchi thi Maa ki aankhon se aansu bhi nahi nikalne diye kabhi...

Aaj bhi nahi...

Shayad limit nahi hoti koi, agar aap kisi apne ke baare mein likhne lago to...

Par ek jagah rukna to padta hai, fir se dobara likhne ke liye...

Some dates get so much alive in your heart, that they just can't go away, no matter how many days, months and years pass by!! 18th Jan... still alive in me, my heart...

God Bless her soul!!!

RIP Maa!!!

Care

Somethings can be never taken care of... no matter how precious they are to you/anyone...

A birth.. on a day...

I didn't have any idea what to write like last year's Blog Entry, just trying to cheat the sleep tonight...

When you are young, seldom are the chances you get surprised by yourself...

You do the things, you take it as it is... never shocked...

Like a beast on the road, careless, carefree...

With the wings, the energy push you... get very less time to think to do whatever...

The same person surprise himself looking back to the past, what I was doing that time... was it I? A young...

And I am nodding to myself sitting alone here on my wood made long back comfortable chair, with the same all day glass of water on my right side...

I am nodding to the fact and trying to accept that when I say young, I mean by the thoughts, by heart young... not physically...

You surprise yourself how the energy flow into your young heart, to do anything... little calculations...

Like Jennifer Yane said… Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened...

To be truthful, I don't remember when I celebrated my birthday except once or twice...

Or may be there is nothing inside the box to take out and write about my birthdays...

What I remember are the days...

Few days in a year which gives me a wake up calls at times and ignites my basics...

For me, still a birthday is bit bigger then people around, having party, cutting cakes and then next day... regular!!!

It’s more or less a dictionary word for me... a day commemorating the origin, founding, or beginning of something...

The origin, the founding, the beginning... If I go by this definition, which I do...I have to celebrate many birthdays and to the same fact, I unfortunately have a very bad memory...

However, to my honest part, I never forget some very of the precious days of my life which made me what I am and how I am today...

Memories...

The memories which tell you who you are and why you are being like this... good or bad, leave it apart!!!

The memories down the line shows you a true cinematic show to cherish the good time, to be sad while thinking about bad time (or rather a miss to good time)

The memories which make your mood swings in fraction of seconds...

The memories which tell a story every time to you while you are walking, working...

Memories about the people who have been along with you throughout the ups and downs of your life...

Memories which can make you think about how life has been and how it has changed in the years gone by...

When you feel alone or lonely, you always have these memories within you... like a mom who is always there for her kid to sing a song or hymns!!!

Memories, makes you sing, dance, cry, laugh, fear, hug, respect, love.. anything...

Honor the memory!!!

Try to listen the sound which fills you from inside... the sound of silence...

Hello darkness, my old friend,

I've come to talk with you again,

Because a vision softly creeping,

Left its seeds while I was sleeping,

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone,

'Neath the halo of a street lamp,

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more.

People talking without speaking,

People hearing without listening,

People writing songs that voices never share

And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows.

Hear my words that I might teach you,

Take my arms that I might reach you."

But my words like silent raindrops fell,

And echoed

In the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made.

And the sign flashed out its warning,

In the words that it was forming.

And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

And tenement halls.

And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

I forgot... regarding birthday... a day will come when you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again...

Birthdays? yes, in a general way;
For the most if not for the best of men:

You were born (I suppose) on a certain day:

So was I: or perhaps in the night: what then?

- James Kenneth Stephen

May everybody live each day of their life... God bless!!!

Window

Hello world...

(Oh, I am remembering my college days when we had to write a C program for this letter "Hello World", its nothing to do with "World"...)

Here, sitting on 19th floor, watching Gotham... it’s the best moment of the day... watching Gotham...

Even though I don't like it...

But it has been eventually turned my alibi to watch it...

I can tell that the window of this apartment has been very friendly with me...

At least it understand that I have to sit there and have my dinner...

Otherwise I will not even have my 3-4 hours of sleep...

Its my desk to earn and burn my calories... 

But today is very different...

For me, for this window...

I am moving out from here...

To a new place, and to be a neighbor of new strangers...

Yes, living here in this building, for 6 months, even today everybody is a stranger except two…

One is my Doorman (sorry, I don't ask the names of people, so I don't know his name) and another sort of person is Chester...

Chester has been very nice to me for a long time...

His eyes, his walk, his ears, everything is so much beautifully designed...

And he is so honest personality that even he likes me, but without the permission of his caretaker, he doesn’t allow himself to come to me and have a chat...

And most important point, I like the best in him is his moving tail...

a symbol of affection and love...

Alas, why men don't have a tail ... ;)

Just kidding... Chester is a dog living here on the top floor... 22nd...

I occasionally meet him in the elevator, on riverside, on a walk, while I think of honesty...

Anyways, I should not be writing about Chester more, as my next entry will be completely on dogs...

So again, writing all this, while sitting on my window, watching Gotham, I am thinking about the bond I share with this window...

I think materialistically at times....

I think will this window too will miss me the same way I miss it...

Or its like some other person will come and sit on it... and then it will become "adjustable" and "habitual" of that person...

Or if that window will think that now it should feel blessed for whatever it has got, and now it has a new owner and paying for it...

I mean is it really depend on if I will be out from this apartment for two months (2 odd months) and then I will come back to this window, should I be able to find the Gotham’s view as same as it is today? Or that window will be change enough to accept me as what I was and what I am...?

I know some "social" people will find me odd enough to talk about all this...

But in the end what social is actually "we" and how we make the things "social"...

So it doesn't matter... its fine...

I know people sitting out there want me to be more responsible and practical...

But responsibility and practicality has nothing to do with presenting your views...

At one point, you have to look back and think... and question and answer...

That is how it works... that is how it is...

And more funny part is, its Saturday night... Empire State of mind is colorful tonight...

Even though its a sin city, but sin has its own enjoyment...

"bin alfazon ke ye batein, bin baarish ki hain barsaatein..."

It only happens in Gotham... for few...

Its owesome view here..

I am going to miss it... for sure... 1910 has been its charm...

God bless!!

Cricket World cup 2011

All over blue...

The power of blue is all over the world again...


Its above yellow, Green and dark blue now...

No toss is so easy...
No game is so easy...
Nothing is free here...
There is no tough way or cake walk, there is just a road you have to follow, what may come...

And that was exactly the temperament Indian team has shown in this Cricket world cup 2011...
After two early dismissals in this world cup final... and those who are legends in Indian cricket team, people lost their hope...

But the way it was handled and the way target was achieved, its unbelievable...
There can be nothing a great gift to Sachin but this... and he got it after 21 years...
It was not the winning, but the way it ended... by a sixer...

I just didn't watch the match because of a superstition...
That if I'll watch, India will loose the game...

So I was feeding the score to myself on timely basis from the internet and was not watching it...
But the heart was beating whenever I was hearing the noise from the next appartment...
People were shouting, howling and doing everything...

And the last over, I was hearing this I think on every ball... "Maar isse... uttha ke maar..."

Eyes were wet, emotions were touching the sky... and once more, the feeling of being Indian took another swing of proud...

One song which I always hear... and I learned from someone about how to feel this song...
And this song is somewhere deep inside my heart... must listen at this moment... for India!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC-RFFIMXlA

Its none other then...

Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaaraa...
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta...

Enjoy the cup...

God Bless...

Peacefully they will die, peacefully they will expire in your name, and beyond the grave they will find only death. But we will keep the secret, and for their own happiness we will entice them with a heavenly and eternal reward.

—THE GRAND INQUISITOR TO HIS "SAVIOR" in THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV

Its tough to deal with yourself... oneself...